ahhh

Thank God school starts in one week... My sister has finally got with the rehab program and the puppy is doing great. Life is finally getting back to some kind of normal. I have decided that I am going to write a book about this crazy life. It should be funny. My son is now driving and I never see him, which is fine with me. I have decided that I am not a real good mom. I don't think that I was cut out for it, My kids tell me i am evil and tonight my husband told me I was just mean. Well, nice of them to tell me how they really feel. I may be mean but they can just deal with it, I do.

Bell, Isn't she cute.

My new baby

I have a new puppy. She is a 3 month old mini schnauzer. My husband brought her home last night despite the fact I have only said a million times I don't want anything that needs to be fed. But she is here and cute and is growing on me. But this morning I was looking forward to sleeping late but a new doggy was crying and woke me up.. All my children are gone for a while and I thought I could sleep all day, NOT.

Santa Claus and Uncle Sam.

What do the two have in to do with each other? Plenty in Small Town,USA. They were on the float together at the christmas parade. The Joy of living in a town of 3,000!!!!!I love it here I really do. At the fourth of July fireworks display parking is easy, Hell you can see it all from the front porch. You know everyone and everyone knows you. if one of your babies get out of line, someone will always tell on them. You can still let the kiddos out to play and still say be home before the street lights come home and know that it will be ok. Walmart is the place to be after church on Sunday, and everyone dresses up to go. You can sit outside and wave at people walking by. And every one's kids is a superstar,because you know and love all of them.

Can I go to sleep now?

Well, it has been a busy weekend. I had to move my sister's stuff out of her storage building after That meant that I had to clean out my garage so I could put her crap some where Loads of Fun. But hey it was only 100+ outside...........I really want to kick her ass right now. If she was where I could get to her I would. I also had to clean, cook(which i hate), let's not talk about the non-stop laundry. My son and his NON_STOP slumber party.( can't these kids go spend the night somewhere else) I just want to go to sleep but my kids have suddenly became vampires (they stay up all night and sleep all day) When i do get to sleep I have messed-up dreams. Like Corey haim and a crack house, him telling me he wasn't going to die on me again. Weird!!!!!! I wonder what that means. I must be going crazy right. Well i did not get that job I wanted real bad. (shame)My car is broke.(double shame) but all and all I am ok.

hello everyone

Well It has been a while my computer was broke. It is all better now. I have gave my sister over to God, she is his problem. I have applied for a new job, I really really want it. Please pray I get it. My sister-in-law knows the woman there so she is going to call for me. I have lost 15pounds in 2 weeks, I have started working out 7 days a week.. and eating better. life is going ok now.

A letter from my sister

This is a letter i received from my sister ,
Jennifer,
I am beyond upset!They sanctioned me for not having enough on my account so I will not be getting my visit this weekend. Also they are making me go to a dermatologist tomorrow and they are taking every bit of money out of my account so I get to do without and have no privileges for week. I can't stop crying. I can't take much more of this Jennifer. I don't know maybe get a loan on my truck. I don't know I just know I am having such a hard time. I am mad.m and extremely disappointed Maybe you could call a lawyer?There has to be some other option?Help Me please.

Oh God, help me

Please Lord help me. My sister as we all know is in rehab. The courts have made her go. The place is run by the probation dept. So far I have spent $2000 on her stay there. She has had to have stitches on her head because of an accident while cleaning the dining room there. I had to pay for them to take her to the ER. She has also gotten a infection on her skin, I have had to pay for them to take her to the doctor 3 times now. plus her medication. I got a call today for more money for this infection. If I don't pay she has to walk aroound infected. I also had to pay $150 Sunday so that her 5 year old could come see her for mother's day. There did not put the money in her account however so She doesn't get to see him or call him for 2 more months. It is crazy......Any suggestions on what the hell to do.

OH no we can't have that now can we

Well after a week or great weather we have storms and toronados head our way. great!!!!! I miss my sister. sounds crazy i know but I miss her. After all the shit she still is my bff. and i want her to come home. My b-day is coming up and I am not liking it. My daughters b day is right before mine she will be 14. I swear teenager are evil.

My little angels....yeah okay believe that if you must.

trent. Is he not the cutest thing ever!

emmy. Little but dangerous.......trust me

Lilly bug. A super smart ass.............like her mommy!!!!1

grandy girl

A crazy puppy dog. She likes to knock you down and try to drag you off. she isn't mean, just a little over zealous.

my favorite person ever!!!!!

This is my baby Lola bear. Please don't ever tell her she is not a bear.. She has no idea that she is a dog.

hello there

It has been a while since I have wrote, mostly because the stupid power cord keeps breaking and the computer doesn't charge when that happens. Well, not alot has happened which is a good thing. The kids are doing great in school and all. The sister is still in rehab. I am still here. Easter was ok, I just went to my brothers house We ate and the three that still do Easter eggs, hunted them. It was ok but at times like that i really miss my mom and dad.And of course my sister wasn't there and as much trouble as she is I still love and miss her. My aunt and uncle came down form Missouri and Georgia the weekend before Easter and we went out to eat which was ok i guess, but i did realize that they are both drunks.( these are my moms brother and sister) which was surprising. My mom never drank and was honest to god a saint. you all would have loved her. she would do things like one year she bought everyone at the homeless shelter christmas presents.not just the kids but everyone. if she knew some one didn't have shoes or new clothes or even supplies for school she would buy them. Didn't matter that she didn't know them. She was just a good person and I know God is glad to have her there. I just miss her here.

spring break, need i say more..............Make it end.

blah

Well, thank God it is Monday!!!!!!! everyone is where they are to be. I get my house all to myself. and all is good with the world.

Yesterday I drove 3 hours one way to take my son to a heart doctor. I did this because the echo he had here in my small little town showed he had a hole in his heart. 3 people in the room when he had his first echo said he had a hole. 3 people who should know what they are doing.He doesn't have a hole in his heart. He is fine. DUMBASSES.

It is monday

Thank God the weekend is over. Weekends mean that everyone is here with me all day. Don't get me wrong I love them but I never get anything done when they are here. i clean they mess up. I cook they refuse to eat. THank god for the next 8 hours they are the schools problem. The husband refuses to go do anything unless i come to. It is like he is afraid i'll run away while he is gone. GROW UP.

Feb 27

I take my son to the heart doctor on march 5. I have to drive about 3 hours away but he is worth it. My sister is now been moved from jail to Rehab. She has been there for about 4 days now. I have already gotten a letter from her wanted me to bring stuff. I did that last week. I am trying to recover from my own codependent issues. I am having a hard time with it. She is my only sister, we don't have parents, she has no one but me. I in turn feel responsable. she knows that and used to her advantage. I know that is what she is doing, using me. But i can't seem to break the cycle.

life gets even better

Life gets even better. Yesterday I took my son to the doctor.He has been passing out at school. He had an ECHO guess what he has a hole in his heart. Great!!!!!!Let me fill you all in on this, I have 2 girls a 13 year old and an 10 year old. The 13 year old has already had open heart surgery. She was 22 months old at the time. The hole was the size of a half dollar. My 10 year old has two holes in her heart. they are small only as big around as your finger, my son has one too. his is very small. It is about as big around as a match stick. I knew it ran in our family but i thought that is was only in the girls. I am upset because i don't know yet how this will affect football. My son is amazing on the football field. One day you all will know his name. He is that good. I son't think that the hole is the reason he has been passing out. I think that is his blood sugar dropping. I guess when we get to the card. he will tell us more. I know that my 10 year old will have to have her's fixed. so i assume he will too.

I am sad

I can not tell you how sad it is to be dealing with addicts. people that you love and care about. the lies kill you slowly each and every time. just when you think it will be ok something happens and it is not. you suffer in ways that are scary. At least the addict has the drugs to kill the pain. I am dealing with it all sober. nothing numbs it. For some reason Guilt plays a big role in it. I feel guilty if i hurt her, if i say anything to cause pain and give her a reason to use.I have to go along and clean up the messes she makes. I assumed that when she left for rehab that all would be better, it is not. she calls me collect to clean up the mess. Pawn jewerly, broken promises, lies, then end never never comes. I am tired of it. I can not take anymore. Stop and leave me alone. I have my own problems. And my own issues. She is killing me just like she killed my momma.

I really am tired

I really don't think i am going to make it. My sister's 5 year old is here like i said. well yesterday he was running a high fever i called her and made her come home and take him to the doctor. He has Bronchitis. I am pretty sure it is because of her smoking in my bathroom, I told her from now on she had to go outside{ the baby can't breathe for Christ sake} This morning i get up and the bathroom sink is coated in ashes. Now we all know I have a love affair with Mr. Clean{ cleaning is my favorite thing to do} BUT right now the boy's ability to breathe is my concern. And smoking is not helping him. It is her child, does she not care?

make her go away please......

Well it is feb. and my sister should be off to rehab any day now. thank God. When she goes i am taking a forever break from her. I can not just be her friend she won't let me . I hate her at this point in my life, I really do. Now she has got her 5 year old kid here and Guess who has to take care of him, That's right ME. She needed to leave him with his Dad where he was being cared for just fine.

He is driving.............me crazy!!!!

Well now my baby boy has his permit now. All i hear is let's drive now. He hides my car keys so that he knows when i am going somewhere so he can drive me there. Fun times,Fun times.

hey

Well we went back to her probation officer and she is so going to rehab in Feb. when she goes to court. She will be there for at least 6 months and from there she will go to a half way house. Thank God. she needs help, way more than i can give her. I am going crazy with her here. but now that i know an end is in sight i will try to hang in there until then. Right now i am trying to teach my son how to drive he is getting his permit. God Help me.

well maybr not so bad

Well, we went to the probation dept. and she has to go back on Tuesday.I think instead of prison they will put her in rehab. for about 6 mns. to a year. that is what i wanted to happen. that's what she needs. After the probation meeting we went to an AA meeting, all i could think about sitting in that room with all those drunks was the beer in my refrig. and how i really wanted one about then.does that make me bad?

today

Let's see today i take my addict sister to the probation officer. for those who don't read my other one let me fill you in. friday night i feel and broke my nee cap. ouch, saturday morning my sister got arrested. my car died and my 13 year old started her period. fun times. My sister is a drug addict,she is on felony probation already.Saturday on her lunch break she bought pills the police saw her and she was arrested. i got her out sunday but today we go to her probation officers/ let's all pray that they put her in rehab. i'll write later and let you know what they do. She goes to court on the new charge feb. 2,

to people who are not brave enough to leave your name.

Do you really think I don't know who you are? Sorry fellows i have you pegged. How lame are you.You follow me all over this big old web? Get a life and then maybe you would not be so into mine.............p.s. blue 87 is over.........